canada.com

Justin Bieber’s testicles may be the most sought after pairing in pop music today. But for three eager outlaws actually planning to castrate the Canadian pop star, they were also a key to a furtive capitalist enterprise.

According to tapes released Wednesday morning (see video above), convicted felon Dana Martin allegedly put a bounty of $2,500 (US) on each of Bieber’s family jewels, which were to be acquired by kidnapping, castrating and strangling the teen during his two sold-out concerts at New York’s Madison Square Garden on November 28 and 29 of last year.

According to police documents obtained by The Sun, Martin — who was serving two life sentences ina Southern New Mexico Correctional Facility in Las Cruces for raping and strangling a 15-year-old girl in 2000 — recruited fellow convict Mark Staake to do the dastardly deed.

“When Mr Martin asked what Mr Staake had bought to castrate…

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WATCH: Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker Defeats Racist Jesus

This is insane, scary, awesome and funny all at once!

NewsFeed

If you ever needed a subtle reminder as to why picking up hitchhikers — or, indeed, hitchhiking yourself — isn’t the best idea, meet Kai. Kai is a homeless hitchhiker who carries around a hatchet. Kai is also being hailed as a hero after saving a woman from the clutches of the man who was giving him a ride — who suddenly crashed his car into a utility worker, began spouting racist invective and claimed to be the reincarnation of Jesus.

We should probably start at the beginning. Kai was hitching a ride with 54-year-old Jett Simmons McBride, of Tacoma, Wash., when McBride, for whatever reason, decided to run his car into a black Pacific Gas and Electric (PG&E) worker in West Fresno, Calif. The worker was pinned against his utility truck, when McBride hopped out of his vehicle and began physically pulling on the injured worker.

(MORE: The 5…

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