Justin Bieber’s testicles may be the most sought after pairing in pop music today. But for three eager outlaws actually planning to castrate the Canadian pop star, they were also a key to a furtive capitalist enterprise.

According to tapes released Wednesday morning (see video above), convicted felon Dana Martin allegedly put a bounty of $2,500 (US) on each of Bieber’s family jewels, which were to be acquired by kidnapping, castrating and strangling the teen during his two sold-out concerts at New York’s Madison Square Garden on November 28 and 29 of last year.

According to police documents obtained by The Sun, Martin — who was serving two life sentences ina Southern New Mexico Correctional Facility in Las Cruces for raping and strangling a 15-year-old girl in 2000 — recruited fellow convict Mark Staake to do the dastardly deed.

“When Mr Martin asked what Mr Staake had bought to castrate…

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WATCH: Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker Defeats Racist Jesus

This is insane, scary, awesome and funny all at once!


If you ever needed a subtle reminder as to why picking up hitchhikers — or, indeed, hitchhiking yourself — isn’t the best idea, meet Kai. Kai is a homeless hitchhiker who carries around a hatchet. Kai is also being hailed as a hero after saving a woman from the clutches of the man who was giving him a ride — who suddenly crashed his car into a utility worker, began spouting racist invective and claimed to be the reincarnation of Jesus.

We should probably start at the beginning. Kai was hitching a ride with 54-year-old Jett Simmons McBride, of Tacoma, Wash., when McBride, for whatever reason, decided to run his car into a black Pacific Gas and Electric (PG&E) worker in West Fresno, Calif. The worker was pinned against his utility truck, when McBride hopped out of his vehicle and began physically pulling on the injured worker.

(MORE: The 5…

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